The ties that bind our toxic relationships

Message from my Sparkpeople friend, KGWINDER


To: TRAVELFAIRY
From: KGWINDER
Date:2/8/2009 - 7:05 AM
Subject:Your pillow...

Dear TRAVELFAIRY,

This is your pillow and I just want you to know I'm always here for you. Sure I've heard the rumors from mirror and scale - well what can I say mirror is just into herself and scale is such a heavy handed - gosh I'd better not lower myself to his level (besides have I told you, that he actually admitted looking up your skirt one day!) -- yes I've known, but I know you so much better than that.

I've heard you dreams and your inner desires. You are ambitious, creative, smart, and you have a face a pillow could always love. Mirror only looks at the surface, I know you at a much deeper level. You've always treated me with respect and kindness and I've gladly cushioned you head (even on those days I had to soak up a few tears). I won't even tell you what I think of Mr. Judgemental flat on the floor like a evil snake, throwing those nasty venom numbers your way. Honey, we've hung out many a night together and I can let him know your fantastic.

So if you need a hug, I'm here for you. If you get anger with the world, go ahead and punch me I can take it and still love you. Or if you just need a rest from it all come and fall into my soft folds. Just remember I am your true friend and every morning I will softly whisper to you how beautiful you are inside and out and then give you a gentle nudge to get moving and have a wonderful day that you can relate to ME at the end of the day.

Your Lofty Friend,
Mr. Fluff E. Pillow (my middle name is after my great great Grandfather Eiderdown)
P.S. I'll talk to pants maybe we can work out a deal if I can hint to you to walk in your dreams

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So I couldn't help but write back.......

From: TRAVELFAIRY
To: PILLOW
Date: March 4th, 2009
Subject: US

Dear Pillow,

You're awesome.

You know I love you more than all the others. Gym & Fridge might be off again, on again, but I am with you almost every night of the year.

As for Scales, well, I don't blame him. He has to live in the bathroom, and if that isn't bad enough I stand on him butt-naked, first thing in the morning. He's suffered years of excess pounds. I'd be cranky too if I were him.

The problem is, Fridge is just trying to help, he is just very bad at it. I was having a rough time, the Holidays brought up how unhappy I was.... Fridge just wanted to make me feel better. Gym was high maintenance. He needed special clothes, he was closed at times, particularly later at night when I was lonely & miserable, and I had to drive in sub zero temperatures to get to him. Not only that, I had to shower and change afterwards, and he didn't like my dog.

Fridge just sat in my kitchen. He was open all day, and all night. He loved my dog. I could go to him in my pyjamas... he was easy. He was my booty call, and very good at instant gratification.

Unfortunately, like a lot of those booty-call type guys, you find some unpleasant physical changes after you've been reckless…. like abdominal swelling. Unfortunately I also had facial swelling, then thigh & butt swelling. I didn’t get any rashes (this time), but my condition was untreatable with medication and wouldn’t resolve itself in 9 months.

Sometimes, though, the ties that bind our toxic relationships are far stronger than we anticipate. You break up, you swear that it’s all over, that he’s no good for you, that you can do so much better…. And then a few days or weeks later, it’s cold, it’s dark, it’s lonely… he starts calling you, and the next thing you know, you’re back together. That’s me & Fridge in a nutshell.

So Pillow, you’re gonna have to bear with me. It’s a bit of an on again, off again relationship. Fridge is like an ex husband that fathered your children. He has to be in your life, no matter how irritating or difficult he can be, and you just have to find a way to deal with him without going crazy.

Can't wait to see you tonight.

Love
TravelFairy